Christmas Cracking.

Firstly, I don't want to stretch my written capabilities, but Christmas shopping is a bit, like, shit. In the northern hemisphere, anyway.

While exciting to think about the looks on your loved ones faces, their sheer delight in having what they spent months sticking in blatant places, as if constantly mentioning it irrelevantly in sentences wasn't enough, and the faces of joy, wrinkled with consumerism pride, there is still an underlying, yet entirely unforgettable aspect to the act itself.

Most of the Christmas shopping I have done (while limited, yes) it is fairly clear that people are straining to get something. (How appropriate is the word straining when in italics, it just looks arduous.) Most of the people are spent huddling around the 'gifts' section. While aptly titled, it really is a fairly useless section made up of entirely useless things. And that is its strongest pull factor.

There is something so wrong about the phrase 'stocking-filler'. It's like a parent telling its child that they only had them to give the dog company (and who hasn't been told that..) It's selling a product based not on its worth but on its, ehh, de-worth. 'This thing isn't great, but put next to a load of other crap, it will make it all look much better!'

Ironically, this is a real Christmas winner. These gift sections are the 'go-to'. The fail-proof's. The Lance Armstrong's of the stocking world. Reliable.

There is a fun to shopping in the southern hemisphere at Christmas time. You look at things to use outside, sports, things to take to the beach and the pool, and do so with a full supply of Vitamin D. You shop with your friend's BBQ that night on the mind, the early morning swim/run/tennis game and the weekend trip's to the beach.

There is a festivite-ness to shopping in the cold. Getting indoors is such sweet relief, shops barely need to advertise, the warm swish of air eminating from shop doors is enough to draw you in. Nights are spent watching Christmas movies and re-creating the lyrics to the worst carols. Cookie cutter templates fill every kitchen shop store front and 'that summer body' magazines spend so much time glorifying is long forgotten, shoved to the back of a chocolate laden pantry, instead 'getting through the tough season' is front and centre surrounded by the latest Cadbury indulgences. One magazine went so far as to match the sweets to the films. Hallelujah, a magazine after my own heart.

I have to admit, the post office queue at this time of the year is rather nice. It's warming to see people clutching their gifts, ready and wrapped to send away. Cards and envelopes are covered in Christmas stickers and affection, it's a time of the year where 'cheesy' is as expected as dwarf employment.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year. However, I've also never been quite so cold at this time of year. Sometimes things 'look' far better than they really are. Today they announced on the news that there has been a sudden increase in rickets. I had to google this but upon learning it occurs from Vitamin D deficiency, I was not in the least bit surprised. That's probably a matter of small talk here, dinner table fodder. It is just so dark. All the time. I actually got a fright today because I saw blue sky for about a minute. It lit up the square so beautifully, I'd never seen that before. But before you could remember what it looked like, the rain returned, the umbrellas came out and Big Foot stumbled back into hiding.

I'm happy to experience this colder, wetter, darker way of life. This year I can say that I had a White Christmas, and I think thats something pretty special. Two years of a cold winter and a summer Christmas will have a whole new meaning.

Plus, how viable is the excuse "all my gifts got lost in the snow"?